Through the lens of Social Media, it seems like people in their twenties have it all figured out. A publicly blasted moved to a big city, a millennial haven of an apartment filled with plants and trendy furniture, a fancy job title, a boyfriend and a sparkly engagement ring to match. But, let’s be real. Being in your twenties is really freaking hard. And, mine was definitely not as “Instagram Worthy” as I made it out to be.
The truth is that my early twenties were filled with moments of self doubt, paychecks that were too small, a whole lot of pretending that I knew what I was talking about and a lot of burnt meals. I made plenty of mistakes, and looking back I wish that there were a few things I would have known before going in. My 27th birthday is just over a week away, so it felt like the perfect time to sit down and reflect on the biggest mistakes, or, as I like to call them, learned lessons that I made in my early twenties.
Living my Life on a Timeline
My early twenties were filled with planners and timelines. Move to a city at 22, get engaged at 24, land your dream job by 25, make it big by 26 and have a kid by 28. Learning to let go of the fabricated timeline I had constructed was probably the hardest lesson I learned before turning 25. Your life isn’t going to be exactly how you planned it, but that’s kind of the beauty of it. Going out on my own and starting a business at 26 and not even thinking about having kids soon wasn’t on my “timeline”, but i’ve never been happier, and it’s not scary at all.
Investing in Difficult Relationships
Most people spend their early twenties looking for “the one.” I was fortunate enough to meet Jordon when I was just 18, so I didn’t have to go through the ups and downs of dating as a young adult. But, I learned a lot about relationships from good and bad friendships I had in my early twenties.
I wish I would have known that relationships are tough, and that you don’t have to be friends with everyone. I spent too many years upset over friends that focused on competition rather than building each other up. It made me realize that the only friends I want to make time for are those that support me. The friendships that have come to a close after moves, relationship changes and new careers remind me just how special the rest of my friends are to me. My advice? Find your people and love them hard. And, don’t worry about the rest. I’d rather have a few really close friends, than thousands of acquaintances any day.
Keeping up with the Joneses
I love social media. I mean, I make a living off of social media. But, there are days when scrolling through my Instagram Feed makes me feel completely unsatisfied with where i’m at. It took a long time to realize that people are only showing you their highlight reel. Those little squares are only the BEST moments of their lives, and rarely showcase the personal struggles someone faces. Don’t compare your everyday to someone else’s “Best”.
Spending on Things I Shouldn’t
If it wasn’t for Jordon reeling in my shopping habits, we’d never have bought our current house. Before 25, I spent so much of my money on unnecessary items (like the bell bottomed pants I HAD to have a few years back). I never bought anything I couldn’t afford, or pay off at the end of the month. But, I could have done a better job budgeting for our longterm goals.
Focusing on Others Over Myself
Before moving to Washington, D.C. on my own, I was really bad about doing things alone. You could’nt pay me to see a movie on my own, let alone sit down at a restaurant. But, spending 6 months living on my own while Jordon finished up school, taught me to love me time. Walks around a neighborhood, a movie night in, a spa night. Now, there are nights I crave to be by myself to recharge my battery a little bit.
If there’s one lesson to take with you, it’s that nothing about your early twenties is going to be perfect. There will be ups and there will be downs, but they’ll all teach you something meaningful along the way.
What would you add to this list?
XO,
K
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Love this thanks for sharing! I feel like I’m struggling with living my life on a time line and need to stop. lol I also really agree with focusing on yourself and me time.
XO, Katie | http://www.meshkomoments.com
Great post! I definitely do the last one too much, but recently I’ve been getting a lot better about giving myself my own time and it’s made a huge difference!